I have run four marathons (in order - San Diego Rock 'N Roll, Chicago, Washington D.C. Marine Corps, and Kansas City), fourteen half marathons, and dozens of shorter 5k and 10k road races. The Boston Marathon has always been my dream. As a runner...it is the "Olympics" of sorts. It is among the elite races. It is the only marathon, besides the Olympics, in which you must have a qualifying time to enter.
In the running world, Boston Marathoner's have a respect that is unmatched. Seeing a stranger in a store wearing a finisher's shirt from the Boston Marathon will almost always draw the attention of other runners, and I have been known to walk up to the person to personally congratulate them on their accomplishment.
I have had the dream of running the Boston Marathon for at least ten years. My time and my age (the younger you are the faster your time must be) have always held me back. I had to take a five year hiatus on achieving my dream while going through infertility treatments, and just this past year was working my way back. I was running speed drills and slowly creeping my time up to the 7:30 - 8:00 minute mile pace for long distances. I had Boston in my reach...then our surprise miracle two. I was disappointed that I couldn't run, but wouldn't trade this gift for anything.
In yesterday's race I had four friends who were lucky enough to be running in the Boston Marathon. (Thank goodness, all of them are safe and sound). As they were leaving over the weekend, I told B how jealous I was of their accomplishment and of the amazing race they were having the opportunity to compete in. Race Day is what months and months of hard work, sweat and tears comes down to; and it is worth every step. Race Day is a rush of adrenaline and emotion, from start to finish. Crossing the finish line of a marathon brings laughter, tears, goose bumps, and a sense of euphoria.
When I heard of the tragedy that occurred during yesterday's Boston Marathon, it stopped my world.
It was defining moment in my life. Just as remembering the exact moment that I learned of 9/11, the Sandy Hook shooting, and now the Boston Marathon bombs, I will always remember hearing the shocking news.
The Sandy Hook shooting was an event that stroke too close to home. I'm a mom and a teacher...and in my mind I could only replay over and over...what if that had been my school, my classroom? What if that had been my daughter??
Learning of the Boston Marathon catastrophe, a marathon dedicated to the victims of the Sandy Hook tragedy, made time stand still.
I know there is evil in the world. My dad and brother both served in the Army as Ranger Special Forces, and now my nephew is following in their footsteps. The evil that they have encountered and fought is unimaginable. I only know the very superficial facts of what they have experienced, but even those facts are beyond scary and make you want to never leave a bunkered hole in the ground.
As I was watching the special coverage last night, almost 20 weeks pregnant, I was reminded of the young, innocent lives that I was responsible for; my daughter and our new baby. Miss M. was asleep in her bed, not knowing of the tragedy that occurred, and our new baby I could feel moving, stretching and kicking.
As I watched and listened, I became so emotional. What kind of world was I bringing my new baby into? What evil would he or she possibly be exposed to? How would I ever protect my children from the dangers?
I had a night of tossing and turning, of questions, and emotions. Since I couldn't sleep, I decided to get up early and go to the one place of comfort that is always there for me.
Running.
I ran on the treadmill while I watched more coverage of the marathon. While running, I saw and heard things that I was too numb to see and hear last night.
I saw runners who had just crossed the finish line head straight to the hospital to donate blood.
I saw volunteers who were sheltering and leading people to safety.
I saw bystanders who ran into the chaos to help...who ran into the war zone.
I saw runners and spectators carrying injured people to ambulances.
I saw first responders who were risking their own lives to try and save the life of another. They had no idea if the bombs were finished or if more were waiting.
I saw the citizens of Boston offering food, shelter, and blankets to the thousands of guests that were in their city for such a great event.
I saw today what I missed last night. I saw the hero's of this world. The helpers of this world. That good does outweigh evil.
I saw this morning, while I was running, that I am going to bring my new baby into a world that has many scary and unpredictable things; but more importantly, I am bringing my baby into a world that also has a lot of good.
Which brings me to the quote from Mr. Roger's. I'm sure you have all seen it, especially lately, but it holds so true.
So today, like so many runners around the world, I am wearing one of my many Race Day t-shirts, which happens to be red, the color that the eight year who was killed, was wearing yesterday. I know it's not much, but it's a way to show the world my empathy and my sympathy for the tragedy.
This tragedy will not stop me...I will, even with more determination now...run in the Boston Marathon one day. I will make my goal.
But, most importantly, I will teach my children the good in this world and help them to BE the good in the world.
