After my Mom passed away in 2002, my Dad waited a year, and then moved to Arkansas to be with his brother and the trout. He loves to spend time fishing on the rivers and lakes there. It truly is beautiful country.
I always worry about him there. His brother passed away last summer, and he's there in Arkansas by himself with no family to look after him. He's getting older (almost 80 now) and has some health issues, main COPD (a form of chronic bronchitis) A couple of weeks ago, we hadn't heard from him in over a week, and we couldn't get him to answer the phone. A whole week went by, and no word. Finally, my brother got a hold of him and learned that he had a fall in the house and just wasn't feel well at all. He said that he called an ambulance and was in the hospital for a couple of days, but was home now, and doing fine.
Hmmmmm...doesn't sound fine to me???
Finally this last week he called and was very upset and asked that my brother go down and spend the week with him. He felt terrible and needed help. This is HUGE for my dad, as he is even more stubborn than I am and will not admit that he ever needs help.
My brother got there Monday and immediately took him to the hospital. He was in rough, rough shape. At the hospital they treated him for many things, including bed sores.
Today he is feeling better and being transported to a short term / rehab care facility.
So through all of this, I have had a tremendous amount of guilt. Everyone says not to, but I do. My poor Daddy was at home, for over 20 days, getting sicker and sicker, not eating, and I was just living my life. I could have tried harder to get a hold of him. I could of called the police to do a well check. I could have done so many things. I feel like a terrible daughter.
Now, my brother is with him, doing everything and taking care of everything because I can't really leave. I have two small children, one of which has to be attached to me at all times to eat and I just can't get to him as quickly as I want or need.
Guilt. Guilt. GUILT.
The plan is to hopefully get him well enough to move him to a long term facility here in Kansas where my brother and I can be there to help take care of him and visit him much more frequently.
It just sucks when your life changes and your parent becomes almost another child that needs to be taken care of.
It also brings back so many memories of when my mom was so sick and I was calling family to keep them updated, waiting for the next doctor appointment and always a little nervous when the phone rings because it could be the worst news ever.
Hugs, Carrie. I am so sorry to hear this. People are right to tell you not to feel guilty because you shouldn't, but I would totally feel the same and still struggle with guilt I feel from when my mom was sick. Moving your dad here sounds like a really good move. Praying for you all.
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