Feb. 14, 2014

Friday, Feb. 14, 2014

My dad passed away at 3:00 a.m.  We got the call Thursday morning that he was having some trouble breathing and they were taking him to the hospital to get further tests and treatment.

By Thursday at 2:00, we got a call that he had phenomena (with his COPD, not a good combination) and that we should not hesitate to get to the hospital. 

So we packed up the kids and hit the road.  My brother was also driving and would meet us down there. 

My brother got there by 9:30, and we arrived by 10:30.  By the time we got there he was unresponsive, very slow pulse and low oxygen level.

At 2:30, the nurse said for us to go home and get some rest.  She was sure he would make it through the night.  We would be back at 6:30 when the doctor made rounds.

She called us back at 3:00, he was gone.

We had his funeral on Feb. 22^nd.  It was beautiful and lovely and we were so well loved and supported.

I’m sorry for my delay in writing this…we’ve had a lot going on.  And, I just am sad.

I’m so sad because I feel like I have lost my mom all over again.  I’ve lost my dad.  I’ve lost both my parents.  Does one ever really feel like they are truly ready to be on their own without their parents?  I know I was not ready.  I’m struggling each day.  I’m so sad that I have lost my family.  I’m so sad that my children have lost their grandparents, and will never really know them. 

So thankful for my amazing husband and my beautiful children, but I selfishly, want my mom and dad too. 

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” 
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

“Everyone grieves in different ways. For some, it could take longer or shorter. I do know it never disappears. An ember still smolders inside me. Most days, I don’t notice it, but, out of the blue, it’ll flare to life.” 
― Maria V. Snyder, Storm Glass

“Now something so sad has hold of us that the breath leaves and we can't even cry.” 
― Charles Bukowski, You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense